Better Family Entertainment


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Poultry Pirates

The ducks and chickens next door eye the Captain’s garden covetously through a poorly mended fence. The Captain, armed with a board, is standing guard (but not fixing the fence). He falls asleep, and the poultry attack, stripping the garden methodically. When the Captain comes after them, they lock him into a shed. He gets out, and fetches his shotgun. That stops them, and they drop their booty, until the Captain sets his gun down to collect the veggies; the birds all rush in, snatch them back, and slam the gate. Except there’s a straggler: one tiny chick struggling with a huge tomato. The Captain catches him, and even though the chick puts the tomato back, the Captain gives him a cute little spanking. The chick runs home and tells daddy (of course, in his version, the chick was a saint); the word is passed to ever-larger roosters, until one that’s even larger than the Captain goes to settle the score. After some posturing, they fight (to the storm sequence from the William Tell Overture). The Captain is knocked out, and awakes to discover it was a dream, but he’s still got the original battle with the poultry – one he finally loses as he knocks down the fence.